And on a completely different note

So because this blog is two-fold...both expressive and introspective...I need to go into the latter mode right now. I have to say that I have been quite frustrated with myself of late. I consider to be myself a strong, independent, self-aware woman...and yet...there is something that seems to ruin that every time...you guessed it--men. I am not sure I should even give them the satisfaction of being called men since they often act like boys...but that is another story.

This isn't a left-wing feminist rant against men--I like men...I have loved men...I am sure I will again. What this is is an exposition of my behavior with men. As I said, I think I am a pretty bad ass chick...and yet for having such a high opinion of myself, I put up with a lot of shit from the opposite sex.

I just recently finished re-reading "He's Just Not That Into You," and what a necessary refresher! It made me realize that I certainly have been guilty of using many of these excuses in the past when the reality was, he just wasn't that into me. I have put up with guys who have cheated on me, lied to me, used drugs when they said they weren't, I have been with guys who couldn't commit (at least not to me), and with guys who were so committed they couldn't let me be me.

I guess what I am saying is I am tired of not being treated the way that I deserve to be...and not demanding that that be the case. If I really am a bad ass chica then I need to learn to stand up for myself, even when it is scary, even when I might hurt someone, even when it hurts me. Because the most important thing is to remember that I can waste time worrying about someone who isn't worrying about me.

Sorry to be all deep and go far too far into my brain...but I needed to write all this down and couldn't find my paper journal...so there it is...