Isn't it an interesting feeling to wake up in the morning (or have dawn on you during the day) that you have done something you can't take back? I don't mean in that icky "Wow, I can never take that back again and that person is going to hate me forever" kind of a way. But more in the sense of you have crossed some threshold that you can never uncross.
If this isn't making any sense think about birthdays--I will never, ever, no matter how hard I try, get to relive my 21st year of life. That is not a bad thing--just a realization. Often this type of realization can be extremely liberating, other times it can be huge and really scary or disappointing (ie; I am graduating from college and I haven't done half the things I wanted to and I never will get to again). Yeah, that one hit last May and still kind of smarts even a year later.
It is funny to think that on this roadmap of life no matter how hard we plan it out it may not always happen that way. There are several decisions I have made in my life that there is absolutely no way I could have predicted making them...liking ending up at the U of O studying public policy. I can't wait to see where the next piece of my adventure takes me.
For some of these "Oh God, the line is back there" moments it is easy to accept them and move on...for others it is not...every I get up and slowly move from one huge piece of my life and begin to move on to another...and it is getting a little bit easier to let go.
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2 comments:
That was incredibly deep and thought-provoking Miss A. I shall toast to you!
(I was totally thinking about the college-semi-freedom transitioning into full-time-career thing myself and had a mini freak out. However, I too calmed when I realized what an exciting, awesome adventure life always proves to be!)
I hear you on this. I had those "Oh God, the line is back there" moments constantly during senior year at Whitman, and even have some this year too. But as scary as they are, I find that they also make me braver, because I know that whatever I'm afraid to do today is going to be back there with that line in a matter of time.
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